Day 4: Self-Love Now
Not only is accepting yourself important, liking yourself is even more important and loving yourself is the real thing.
Very often we love other people, other animals, other things, and we don’t really love ourselves.
Often we feel we are not worthy of love, or we will love ourselves when we are nicer, or better, or richer, or in better physical shape. All these other things will come to us quicker and in greater quantity when we love ourselves exactly as we are now.
We really have done our best, although it may not appear that way. We are human beings. We are fallible. We have probably done a lot of good things in our lives as well.
No matter what, if we do not love ourselves, we cannot really fully love others, because we are loving from an ‘unwhole’ heart.
We cannot love others fully if our own heart is not filled with love for ourselves, for that is the source of all our love.
Real Self-Love Is Gloriously Unselfish, Is Generous
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Day 3: Acceptance Of Others
It is important to accept others exactly as they are.
To have no expectations of them, whoever they may be – family, relative, friend, and colleague. We might influence others but we cannot change them. Just as only we can change ourselves, so can others only change themselves.
If we have no expectations of others, we cannot be disappointed. Just as we have freedom of choice in everything, including how we behave, so do they. There are probably people wishing that we were different, but we are what we are. The same applies to them. We make mistakes, can be unpleasant, behave badly, are rude etc. We do these things so we need to accept that others do as well.
Whereas some time ago, I might have done something wrong, and, angry as I was then, with time I have accepted it happened and cannot be changed. Someone else might be doing a similar wrong currently. The only difference is the time factor. In time she/he may well accept it. We will be wise to accept it right now.
We will retain our positive energy by accepting others for who and what they are, and not waste our energy on negative, debilitating wishes for others to be different.
“If You Feel Good About Yourself You Will Feel Good About Other People” – Myles Munroe
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In the introduction, I wrote that the purpose of the book is "to motivate, uplift and inspire myself. To remind myself I am a human being with weaknesses, that I have good qualities, and that with commitment I will be healed. In this spirit I pass these writings on to you. I hope and pray they will serve to motivate, uplift and inspire you.” - Active Acceptance - 100 Meditations For Happiness & Recovery
Day 1: Self-Acceptance
Accept yourself totally as you are right now; who you are, what you are; no matter what your circumstances may be; forget about what you have been, or what you might still be, as you are right now is as you are.
You can change it. Nevertheless you cannot change in the immediate moment, the present, who and what you are.
It is necessary to accept yourself fully, unconditionally and with love.
Do not wish that you were someone else, or that you were a different you. You can still be a different you, probably the real you, but now be happy with who you are and what you are.
Unconditional Love Heals
Click here to get the book "Active Acceptance" from the WebStore
Listening is an Act of Love.
Listening is a much under-utilised and under-appreciated form of therapy. Often, the very best gift we can offer a person in some form of distress — whether physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual — is listening. A special type of listening: empathic and confidential. Many peoples cries of despair go unheeded, either because they remain unexpressed or because they are not effectively listened to.
Relatively recent research has shown that the heart has its own brain, neurologically speaking, and it would seem to me that we need to listen to our hearts more, rather than focusing totally on our minds. We would do well to bring our minds to our hearts as it were.
The heart has often been described in terms of and associated with love. This now appears to be literally true as well. Our heart is possibly the seat of our emotions and our emotions play a massive role in our lives. “Its all in the mind?.” No, indeed, the heart is intrinsically involved as well. Love is indubitably powerful. If love is located in the heart, if we listen to our heart more and enact on what we hear and learn, we shall surely be living better lives, towards ourselves and others.
The major religions and philosophies teach us that LOVE is paramount. Yet we see so much in the world that bears testimony to its non-application. We are taught to love our neighbours, even our enemies; we really struggle with that one.
What to do? As Mahatma Ghandi is quoted as saying, “Be the change you want to see.” It all starts with us, with you and with me. I, Rex Hillier, am paying lip service to this if I do not at least make sincere efforts to practice this maxim. I emphasise efforts as it is an ongoing struggle to be this change. And doing is even more difficult. It is far easier to think about loving someone than actually doing it through our behaviour.
And so, as always, the best place to start is with ourselves. Love yourself. Some would say this is selfish, that we should concentrate on loving others. I suggest though that it is rather a selfless approach in that when we love ourselves as fully as we can, we are able to love others more often and more deeply. When we have more we are able to give more — Love.
If we really struggle with this love, either for ourselves or others, we can rather at least begin to like ourselves or others. At the very least we can begin from a neutral standpoint, a position of acceptance, which is much better than one of dislike or even hate. From there we can move on to liking and eventually to loving. It may be a long process, but is worth the perseverance for its beneficent outcomes.
I am a Recovery Coach, Life Coach, Author and Speaker. I live in Cape Town, South Africa.