Day 4: Self-Love Now
Not only is accepting yourself important, liking yourself is even more important and loving yourself is the real thing.
Very often we love other people, other animals, other things, and we don’t really love ourselves.
Often we feel we are not worthy of love, or we will love ourselves when we are nicer, or better, or richer, or in better physical shape. All these other things will come to us quicker and in greater quantity when we love ourselves exactly as we are now.
We really have done our best, although it may not appear that way. We are human beings. We are fallible. We have probably done a lot of good things in our lives as well.
No matter what, if we do not love ourselves, we cannot really fully love others, because we are loving from an ‘unwhole’ heart.
We cannot love others fully if our own heart is not filled with love for ourselves, for that is the source of all our love.
Real Self-Love Is Gloriously Unselfish, Is Generous
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Attitude - Section Two
My belief in the power, influence and effect of attitude goes way back and incorporates other aspects of the mind. Essentially, a positive and optimistic attitude have been of paramount importance to me as far back as I can remember. An upbeat approach to life. An outlook of joie de vivre.
Attitude has also long been something I have felt vital to an enjoyment or rather even joy of life, of living. Regarding my positive and optimistic attitude towards life many have asked how I could drink so abusively when I had such a good attitude. A good question, but at least it helped me to stay attuned to the eventual healing I experienced. However, it is so that on the lower level of attitude I always felt that I should be positive at all times, no matter how I felt or what the circumstances were. By doing this I now realise that I was piling positive thoughts, feelings and emotions on top of any negatives that existed and they did.
At some stage they would have to surface and I think when they did I gave in to alcohol again. Attitude was all about the mind, all in the mind, mind over matter, the power of the mind to the almost exclusion of feelings and emotion and the heart. Not taking into account that we are also body and soul, not just mind. And so my attitude became one of accepting certain negative realities rather than just passing over them as if a good attitude would eliminate them.
I believe that my positive and optimistic attitude has played a major role in my life, in a number of ways. As a result of this approach to life, I have been able to lead a very joyful and enjoyable life, even through the depths of alcoholism. It may well be so that the fact that I am alive can be largely attributed to this attitude.
Attitude has a bearing on virtually all aspects of our lives. In my case, I was encouraged by my attitude to develop and maintain a purposeful approach. My attitude motivated me to exercise regularly, to seek spiritual answers to my questions of life, to appreciate and be grateful.
Source: A SANE MAP - My Journey in Recovery from Addiction.
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Day 2: Desiring Things To Be Different
It is quite likely that you have abused alcohol/substance because you wished things to be different; your own circumstances, the state of the country, the state of the world.
Many people who wish things were different are idealists, wishing to see more good in themselves, in others, in the world. Quite often we wish to run away from reality because we wish things were better – peace, greater harmony, both in our lives and generally.
It is a very fine attribute to desire greater good in ourselves and in the world. However, as we have surely found out, alcohol/substance-abuse does not improve anything at all. It may help us to escape reality for a while, but we always wake up to the not so nice self and world and have to face it. Alcohol/substance-abuse certainly does not strengthen us to improve any situation.
All conditions can only improve by improving ourselves, that’s where everything starts.
We know that when alcohol/substance is not an abusive factor in our lives, we are far stronger, more confident and able to tackle problems and strive to improve things.
“The People Who Change the World Are People Who Have Taken IMPOSSIBLE Out Of Their Dictionaries” – Myles Munroe
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The major religions and philosophies teach us that LOVE is paramount. Yet we see so much in the world that bears testimony to its non-application. We are taught to love our neighbours, even our enemies; we really struggle with that one.
What to do? As Mahatma Ghandi is quoted as saying, “Be the change you want to see.” It all starts with us, with you and with me. I, Rex Hillier, am paying lip service to this if I do not at least make sincere efforts to practice this maxim. I emphasise efforts as it is an ongoing struggle to be this change. And doing is even more difficult. It is far easier to think about loving someone than actually doing it through our behaviour.
And so, as always, the best place to start is with ourselves. Love yourself. Some would say this is selfish, that we should concentrate on loving others. I suggest though that it is rather a selfless approach in that when we love ourselves as fully as we can, we are able to love others more often and more deeply. When we have more we are able to give more — Love.
If we really struggle with this love, either for ourselves or others, we can rather at least begin to like ourselves or others. At the very least we can begin from a neutral standpoint, a position of acceptance, which is much better than one of dislike or even hate. From there we can move on to liking and eventually to loving. It may be a long process, but is worth the perseverance for its beneficent outcomes.
I am a Recovery Coach, Life Coach, Author and Speaker. I live in Cape Town, South Africa.