Day 3: Acceptance Of Others
It is important to accept others exactly as they are.
To have no expectations of them, whoever they may be – family, relative, friend, and colleague. We might influence others but we cannot change them. Just as only we can change ourselves, so can others only change themselves.
If we have no expectations of others, we cannot be disappointed. Just as we have freedom of choice in everything, including how we behave, so do they. There are probably people wishing that we were different, but we are what we are. The same applies to them. We make mistakes, can be unpleasant, behave badly, are rude etc. We do these things so we need to accept that others do as well.
Whereas some time ago, I might have done something wrong, and, angry as I was then, with time I have accepted it happened and cannot be changed. Someone else might be doing a similar wrong currently. The only difference is the time factor. In time she/he may well accept it. We will be wise to accept it right now.
We will retain our positive energy by accepting others for who and what they are, and not waste our energy on negative, debilitating wishes for others to be different.
“If You Feel Good About Yourself You Will Feel Good About Other People” – Myles Munroe
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Spirituality - Section One
It will become obvious as we journey together that my definition of Spirituality is very wide and inclusive. No-one should think there is anything dogmatic or exclusive in my usage of this word. Nevertheless, I shall be recounting my own experiences and understanding of Spirituality which in fact underpins my whole approach to coaching, healing and recovery.
I shall be discussing various levels of my experience of this acronym. At a certain level my understanding, embracing and expression of Spirituality, enabled me to lead a very full(filling) life even during the many years of my alcohol abuse and addiction. But, vitally, at a deeper level of Spiritual experience, I was empowered to overcome the addiction and continue in my leading a non-alcohol-addicted life. Freedom!!
Essentially my desire and intention is to pass on to others whatever benefits may accrue from the recounting of parts of my life story: experiences, reading, writing and studies. This will encompass all aspects of my life, so that hopefully others may learn from my successes and failures; my strengths and weaknesses; my light or benevolent characteristics and behaviour, as well as my dark or shadow characteristics and behaviour.
This is an honest and open attempt to hold my life up as a mirror in which others may see something of themselves, both good and less so. I hope that you as reader may be beneficially affected and effected in some way, whether primarily for yourself or someone else known to you.
Spirituality just became deeper and deeper for me. While I would say I spent many years seeking in the general realms of spirituality, with time this became a more earnest seeking after God specifically. I would say a personal quest for a personal relationship in some way with the Creator, Creative Power. Ultimately I think I can say that this was the fundamental source of my realisations and healing. Without this I probably would have continued on an alcoholic path, albeit always striving to conquer the dragon.
Source: A SANE MAP - My Journey in Recovery from Addiction.
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Introduction: A SANE Map for Life and Recovery
Today I want to introduce you to my first book. Over the next weeks I will publish chapters of the book here and on the web. In “A SANE MAP - My Journey in Recovery from Alcohol Abuse”, I share snapshots of my 40 years of alcohol abuse and 7 keys to my recovery. Get my book FREE at the link below and help share my amazing story of recovery.
The SANE MAP
When, how and why did I come up with the idea, the concept, of SANE MAP or S.A.N.E. M.A.P.? About 4 years ago I was wandering on the mountain and I thought: “What has actually kept me alive, pretty healthy and fit given that I have abused alcohol seriously for most of my adult life, about 40 years? What allowed me to derive a vast amount of enjoyment of life even during this very long period”?
And so I analysed. Spirituality was the first concept that emerged. I could call it by a number of descriptive names. Essentially, though, a seeking of some Creative Power, God, something greater than the mind can comprehend, the Omniscient, Omnipotent, and Omnipresent. And through this seeking also the ongoing attempt to know myself, to discover, reveal, who I essentially am, what I am. And so, S for Spirituality emerged.
For me personally, much of the content of LIVING THROUGH ADDICTION and RECOVERY revolves around the following acronym. There is a story behind this acronym which I shall share as we go along. Suffice for a very brief introduction, here are the key words in the acronym:
S - Spirituality
A - Attitude
N - Nature
E - Exercise
M - Meaning
A - Action
P - Purpose
The following chapters (and posts) deal with each of these 7 keys to recovery.
Now that you’ve had a taste of what’s coming, please share this.
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I am a Recovery Coach, Life Coach, Author and Speaker. I live in Cape Town, South Africa.